The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
