I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
