woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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