so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
