I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
