I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
