yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
