I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
