So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
