sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
