My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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