More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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