Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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