i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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