omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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