Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
