Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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