Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
