Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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