It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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