did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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