I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
