Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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