Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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