just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
