He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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