WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
