you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
