I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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