I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
