bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
