rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize