hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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