...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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