For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
