You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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