Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
