Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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