is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
