escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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