Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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