Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
