i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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