Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
