he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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