Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
