Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Success! We fucked roommates!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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