Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
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But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
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I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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