12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
