fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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