it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
