Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
