True but thats because hes a fetus.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
