There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
