You're a womanizer and a bitch.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
