All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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