Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
