so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
