What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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