Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
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Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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