I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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