I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you win again, gameday.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
