Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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