I'm really into asian looking animals
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
