i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i came on her dog
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
