he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
